Yesterday, my cousin, Dr. Rob Furman, shared an article from Jason Nazar “The 35 Questions That Will Change Your Life”. Intrigued by the title, I decided to check it out and finding it interesting, I decided to tackle the 35 questions. Doing that all in one blog entry though would be a tad cumbersome, so I will take one question a day to answer and comment on. I am hoping that once I reach the 35 day, I will have learned something about myself although I am not holding my breath about it changing my life.
The first question
What are you pretending not to know? All possibilities open up when we stop deceiving ourselves.
This is a tough one for me. I am not sure if I am pretending not to know something or if I simply do not know it. Know what I mean? I could say though that in the past year, my life has been changed quite a bit. Before I made numerous changes in the spring, one of the things I deceived myself about was my mental health. It took several panic attacks and my general practitioner’s advice before I went to a therapist. I had been in therapy before when I was having trouble in my first marriage but had not been since moving seven years ago. I believed that I was okay and handling life pretty well. Guess what? I wasn’t really. I was just hiding my problems behind my happy, silly, lovable lady mask.
It took a partially dysfunctional relationship with a man who depended on me for everything to make me step back and say, “Whoa!” I realized, with the help of an excellent counselor, that I worried too much about how others saw me, I gave more in a relationship then I received, and I lived for the care, welfare, safety and security of others in my life rather than for my own needs. That realization has allowed me to make changes in my life and to be happy for my sake, not others. Now that doesn’t mean I have become a selfish, egocentric hag. It simply means that I make sure I am okay before I take care of others. Like on an airplane when the flight attendant teaches us to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting a young child, I now make sure that I can breathe freely before attending to the others around me. I need to be okay before I can satisfactorily help anyone else.
Hmm…interesting thought process I evoked here. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s question, “Why don’t you do the things you know you should be doing?”